Start with the part that is verifiable
Separate the event you can describe from the motive or reaction you are guessing. For a message about how to support a friend after a breakup, use this factual base: acknowledge the loss as they describe it and notice the immediate housing, childcare, work, or social impact.
Make one answerable request
Give the recipient one concrete question or next step instead of several emotional jobs at once. Offer one practical task or a form of company that does not require them to retell the story. Make the immediate next step clear enough that the recipient can answer without reconstructing the entire history.
Leave the recipient in control
Do not attack the ex, push dating, demand details, or share the news before they are ready. For abuse, stalking, housing danger, child risk, self-harm, or immediate danger, connect them with specialist or emergency support. A clear message remains useful even when the answer is no or no answer arrives.