Check who should receive the message
Confirm that you have the right person, the right role, and permission to disclose the information involved. For a message about how to discuss whether to have children, use this factual base: name the current pattern, concrete impact, and decision that needs both partners' attention.
Separate information from interpretation
Label confirmed facts, open questions, and the specific decision that belongs to the recipient. Ask for a time and format to discuss one issue, then identify any outside support that could help. Make the immediate next step clear enough that the recipient can answer without reconstructing the entire history.
Use formal help when stakes rise
Do not threaten abandonment, use intimacy as leverage, or demand an answer during an unsafe or heated moment. Use specialist domestic abuse or emergency support when coercion, violence, stalking, or immediate danger is present. Medical, legal, financial, employment, and safety decisions may require a qualified professional rather than personal persuasion.