Dating, breakups & boundaries

Ask an ex to stop contacting you

A no-contact boundary works best when it is specific enough to follow and does not invite a final argument. You do not need to persuade someone to agree with your boundary.

Write your messageHow it works

State the boundary in operational terms

Say that you do not want calls, messages, visits, gifts, contact through friends, or new accounts. Name any narrow exception for children, property, or legal matters and its approved channel.

Do not negotiate the emotional case

Avoid listing every reason or responding to promises that this will be the last conversation. Repeat the boundary once if needed, then stop engaging.

Treat escalation as a safety issue

Save records, tell trusted people, secure accounts, and use platform reporting, specialist domestic abuse services, police, or legal advice as appropriate. Immediate danger requires local emergency services.

Common questions

People also ask

What should I say to make my ex stop contacting me?
State clearly that you do not consent to further contact, list the channels covered, define any essential exception, and say you will not discuss the boundary further.
Should I block them after sending the message?
You can block immediately if that supports safety and peace. You do not owe proof that they received or accepted the boundary.
What if my ex keeps creating new accounts?
Do not keep responding. Preserve evidence and use platform, safety, legal, or law-enforcement channels appropriate to the behavior and your location.

What Kildr supports now

The full request stays simple. The controls around it are deliberate.

Opening is free

Recipients never pay to open or read a Kildr message. Before opening, they see who is asking when the sender chose to identify themselves and the total amount paid. A sender phone number is shown only when the sender explicitly chooses to share it.

The recipient stays in control

A recipient can decline without opening, block one sender, opt out of Kildr entirely, or report an opened message. A normal sender block can be removed by the recipient later. Declining means that message can never be viewed afterward.

Three optional responses

After opening, the recipient can choose “I need to think”, “Text me”, or “Never contact me again”. The first two can be switched after a 10-minute cooldown. “Never contact me again” is final, and the recipient can permanently block that sender or all Kildr requests.

Themes and read receipts are optional

Senders can choose free themes or buy a premium theme. An active paid theme is added to the visible Amount paid total. A separate read-receipt add-on unlocks Opened and Read status; without it, the sender's lifecycle information stops at Delivered.

Paying creates the request and optional sender features. It never creates an obligation for the recipient to open, respond, unblock, or make contact.

Related situations

All situations
Dating, breakups & boundaries

Set a boundary after a breakup

Vague promises to give each other space often fail because each person imagines a different rule. A useful boundary names the behavior, duration, exceptions, and practical channel.

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Reconnection & closure

Send a final respectful message and let go

A final message is defined by what you do afterward. It closes your side of the contact rather than trying one last way to make them reopen theirs.

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Practical loose ends

Coordinate practical details after a separation

After a separation, a necessary logistical message can feel emotionally loaded. Structure it so the recipient can answer the practical question without discussing the relationship.

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No contact & silence

Reach an ex during no contact

No contact is a boundary. If the other person asked for no contact, do not use Kildr to send an emotional message. For genuinely necessary practical matters, consider a neutral third party or another appropriate formal channel instead.

Read this situation

Prefer to read around it first? Read the journal or see how Kildr works.